Franzx
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Posts: 75
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« on: April 29, 2006, 10:18:41 PM » |
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Before I begin, this post is directed towards the guild (obviously) and Shathar.
Most of you know or at least are somewhat aware of Shathar leaving. Whether or not you knew, I along with Stanzx, were responsible for Shathar leaving. It was my idea to get him to leave, but I went so low to make Stanzx carry out my orders. Yes Stanzx could have said no, but we were in full agreement on Shathar leaving. Now, I could try and defend myself, but it's not why I'm here. I'm here to apologize for what I've done. Stanzx will make his own apology.
Shathar.... I didn't know him. Infact, I've never said anything to him. The only times I was around him were few and far between and in that time I formed a dislike for him. I never gave him a chance. And honestly, that's the kind of person I am. When you get right down to it, what I did was reeeally shitty. Now, that's not to say I don't feel bad for doing for doing this. I don't want to be viewed as a bad person because I do feel like a major jerk, but I am. And to top it all off, I did this to someone over a GAME. Question my character, please do so. I do. As I'm typing this, it's hard to keep my thoughts in order because I don't know what to say. Saying I'm sorry isn't enough for what damage was caused. Then I'm worried about not sounding sincere while getting this all out into the open. This virtual text can't carry over to you, the reader, of how I feel about this whole dilemma.
I learned that many people wanted the two of us kicked out of the guild and for good reason. I never thought myself as a really likeable kind of guy, but I never imagined that I would have people who wanted me out. Shathar probably didn't think he had enemies in the guild, I mean who really does? Though I think it's alright to not be really fond of someone, it crosses the line when you plot against another individual. I crossed this threshold and went above and beyond it. Suddenly I was knee deep in my own problems, and faced a /gkick. If I were in a leadership position, I would have kicked that member. I wasn't and yes this won't satisfy some members, but I beg of you to give me another chance. I don't ever expect to gain back full trust but enough so people can view me as a *decent* person.
I've rambled on long enough and I haven't apologized. Guys, I'm sorry. It was a jerkoff move that I pulled... I was on a personal vendetta against Shathar for no reason other than to make myself feel better. It didn't though. When I was pulled aside and talked too, I wasn't yelled at. I was just talked to, but the way Jagor and the rest of the leadership made it out to be, I felt even worse. Yes, they were mad. But they were also disappointed in me, which is to me, very hurtful. Shathar, if you do read this, I am very sorry. I do want your forgiveness because I know I wont get much from most people. And I apologize to the members of LaG. I'm not a LaG member. People in LaG don't do this crap to others. So officially/unofficially I consider myself as an ex-member working his way back to where he once stood.
I conclude this formal apology with the following: Don't do this to people, you won't get anywhere. And you only cause more harm to yourself in the end. I love this guild, but my actions have proved to you that I don't give the respect that everyone deserves.
Colton (Franzx)
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